58 Comments

Thomas, it that time of year. I’m growing food and your still insane. A new year begins. most will have a great year. the old though will creak around groaning and complaining like Thomas.

As for Thomas well you old gross dog. See you in a few months maybe. Or maybe not. You never know. And you never will

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Hi Auntie, Glad to hear you got back ok. Did you hear about Montebello when I had to use the Uraesh to push the rain away from San Francisco? That’s sky sky river just opened up. My making the Uraesh, the weather's been shit since.

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Thomas, how was the nut house? it has been non stop fun? Now tell me planet fat body the black hole of the universe. They reported that your ass doctor never came home from his his planned trip t youranus.

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This is a man deeply in pain, in misery, in social isolation interacting with no one who isn’t also crazy. He is in a world of shitty living. Because he keeps up his bullshit fake reality where he is some uber business man and not just a gross degenerate. He has had a lifetime to address his problems but he is too into his own version of reality to accept help.

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Associates, this message is for the ladies.

Please don’t push or shove. There’s plenty of the Hoffmeister to go around.

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When Tom gets out of the crazy house, I’ll enjoy the constant dilemma where Tom tells everyone how terrible his stay is and how we should all feel sorry for him because nothing ever goes his way and he's all alone, but at the same time he wants to tell everyone how amazing the food was and how the staff catered to all of his whims because he's an indigenous two spirit and everyone loves him.

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Associates, I have some great news to share! It’s with pleasure that I announce Chris Anthony will be joining our team. Chris will work with the Sales team headed up by Scotia to expand our business operations to the west coast. He will manage, coordinate and organize outside vendors. We are thrilled that Chris is coming on board!

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Thomas, it was in my time advanced calculus for freshman do get it is about a placement exam FOOL. And do get that well I was doing calculus as a child. and dad even taught me to use a slide ruler. Now I am sure you have no clue what a slide ruler is. comical how you try to show me up. But failing so badly.

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Hggfd, please notify our Asian partners that Associate Scotia is working hard to make sure Subject T's premature release does not affect their operations. Full speed ahead.

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I don’t know who this Tommy is but he sounds like a homosexual.

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Hggfd, please inform your partners not to worry. Our lawyers have drafted and submitted an amicus curiae regarding the arraignment. Your operation can continue without hindrance.

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Scotia/Kevin, Tom’s post-parents death are really a dream. The perfect combination of disposable wealth and exceptionally low intelligence. Add on the fact his first thought is not "I'm being scammed" but "An international conspiracy is foiling my schemes!" and you got yourself a solid mark for a couple of years.

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Tom, Your schizo crackhead fish scheme is way more interesting than getting arrested.

You bought dozens of pet fish in jars? And thought you could make a profit selling them in snobby glasses?

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Inb4 he's back here squawking about mistreatment and discrimination at the hands of the Tuscon PD.

"I was just digging in the dumpster. Can anyone really own a dumpster, maaan? Mother Earth provided us that bounty of expired egg salad sandwiches and these fructicious fascist fannynaggers were just going to squander it"

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L O L O L O

O L O L O L

L O L O L O

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Tommie has realized his business ambitions will not amount to anything, and is desperately appealing to his god(s) to save him. Once that doesn't happen, he's going to fall into his low energy period. This one feels particularly pronounced, I think because this is the point where he's going to have to admit to himself that he squandered his inheritance, without any way to rationalize that thought away.

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